Discussion: Rose and card delivery together

1. Not all classmates (families) who die will be in Tyler.

2. Not all classmates (families) who die will be in Texas.

Question: If we want them delivered together, who is going to travel all over the place delivering the card and rose?

Maybe solution: Have the rose in color embossed on the inside of the card. Front of card could say "In Sympathy from the John Tyler High School Class of 1968" in JT blue. Full figure or head of lion? Inside would be the rose in color with words of sympathy. This rose won't die. A suggestion solution only!

Discussion: Sunshine Fund vs Scholarship Fund.

1. Some of the class can give to both.

2. More of the class can give only to one.

Maybe solution: Don't make people choose. Do make a donation in the deceased's name to the Scholarship Fund from the Sunshine Fund. This way people who can only donate to one fund can be assured that most of their money will wind up in the Scholarship Fund. The cost of the cards and postage would come from the Sunshine Fund and then a set amount for the donation to the Scholarship Fund. Then people can help both funds. A suggested solution only!

Get well cards would come from the Sunshine Fund with maybe a yellow rose embossed inside the card for health. No donation to Scholarship Fund.

As SAS would say "I'm just sayin'"........

SINCE I RECEIVED THE SINGLE RED ROSE AND THE CARD, IT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL TRIBUTE TO LARRY AND MYSELF.  IT IS IN A VASE WITH OTHERS FROM THE GRAVESIDE.  IT IS BY HIS SIDE OF THE BED ON THE TABLE, AND WILL REMAIN THERE UNTIL IT BECOMES JUST FALLEN PETALS, THEN IT WILL GO IN A BAG OR SOME OTHER WAY TO PRESERVE THEM AS LONG AS I CAN.   HE NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD THE WAY OUR CLASS WAS SO CLOSE AND WANTED TO SHARE WITH EACH OTHER, BUT I BET IF HE KNEW ALL THAT I HAVE READ AS A TRIBUTE TO HIM AND A COMFORT TO ME, HE WOULD BE CRYING AND THANKING YOU....GOD BLESS YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE OUT THERE,  THE CRYING LION PICTURE WAS PRICELESS....LOVE LINDA S. PEERY

I've just been reading all of the wonderful ideas everyone has posted. Great input. I agree that it should be for classmates and spouses, their immediate families and parents. 

Linda F., I know exactly what you mean about the cards.  When my sweet daddy died, I received a brazilian cards.  I have them in a clear baggie, and from time to time I take them out and read them.  I am still amazed and thrilled with the number I received...and that was 13+ years ago.  When it is your loved one. it really is important to you. Something as simple and sweet as a card really does make that difference for years to come.

i've just been catching up on all these posts..intesting reading and superb ideas..for the record i add the following comments:

i agree the single rose is a beautiful jesture..

i agree that developing a class card is a wonderful idea too..

i have a question for reeves, sallie, SAS, christi though - do we already have a flower or sunshine committee?  if we do, who are the members?

in order to finalize our "process" shouldn't the committee set a cut off date for comments, analyze all the input, and then put thier findings to a vote?  that way, there would be an official plan of action..or it would seem that way to me.

again as SAS would say, 'i'm just saying''.. pk

I did suggest a single red rose to be give to the person who had lost a loved one.  I did do this for Linda because I loved both Linda and Larry. But I knew I was going to be there.  Ok, so I was a little late, but I did get the rose to Linda and she greatly appreciated it.

But this is hard to do if someone is not attending the visitation and if we don't remember what the person looks like( we have all changed).  Also a flower shop would not know who to give this to. Lil and Steve have worked with our class way and beyond and done arrangements that are far beyond the usual charges that other flower shops charge.  Kudos to both of them....

So it really depends on the circumstances involved and the location.  Lil and Steve will work with us, but when anything is wired and not local other charges come into effect and we have no idea what the price will be.  It is a decision that certainly needs to be addressed.  So far I think everything has worked our Great, but we have no idea what we will be facing in future months.

Cards are very special to me.  I still have all the cards from my Grandparents, Daddy and Mother and my brother.  Something I will long treasure.

Also it would be nice to know exactly what is the definition of a committee?  Many have asked me this question.... Just wondering...

I also have all the cards that were sent to us when my Daddy died and then when Mom died and sometimes I will get out a few and read them,just a reminder of all the love from friends and family..so I think a class card is a great idea, at the moment or even days surrounding a loss, you might not even be aware of things or people right in front of you, but later when the grief eases, those cards mean alot to help you deal with your loss.

You guys are meeting this weekend, or trying to, and after reading some of the more recent comments, I think the idea of a class card, with a red or yellow rose, depending on the circumstance could be a very nice unique gesture and possibly simplify the issues created for flower delivery.  Plus have the added benefit of covering those outside of the immediate Texas area a little easier.  However, I'll support whatever those of you who can meet decide.

If we do go with the rose card idea, perhaps we could check to see what artistic talents we have among us for design ideas to choose from.  Just an idea.

As most of you have probably noticed , I do not make too many comments, for one reason only. I love this class and this venue which has allowed us to reach out and reclaim old friendships. I am afraid of what could happen if we can't find some peace of mind about issues that arise.

This class has done such wonderful stuff, and it has taken us all coming together to create this. If we keep up these controversies, what we have created will no longer be "THE PRIDE OF THE CLASS OF 1968"

I am suggesting we set a 25.00 limit on a plant (they won't die in a few days), with one yellow rose(or whatever color the florist has) and with a blue bow and a card that says The Class of 1968.

I also think that we can make cards, with some kind of embossed image on it and send these out too, With as many crafters or scrappers in our group, we should me able to make these at no cost. The only cost being mailing, and we can buy a roll of forever stamps and it should last for a long time.

If and when we need funds we can put out a call for sunshine monies...so far this class has stepped up to the job every time.

If we cannot agree on something, maybe Jake could put out a survey and see what the majority wants.

I will volunteer to make cards and mail them.  Anita I believe has an embosser and she would probably emboss them for us.

Let's come together and be the Pride of 1968.

Anita and I have been getting information together for the committee meeting.  It includes budget notes, select quotes from your comments here, and what I consider to be key questions for the committee members to look into.  I'm omitting the comments section since you can see them by reading the above replies but here are the budget notes and the key questions list:

1. Budget information pertaining to committee's purpose:
a. Current balance: $1845.08
b. Flower/Sunshine fund balance: $896.29
c. Last flower fund expenditure: $48.71 (Debbie Deason's mother)
d. Range of individual floral costs over past year: $30+ to $50+

2. Ancillary budget information:
a. Other recent expenses - $549 to ClassCreator.Com for 10-year subscription & $36 (2-year) for domain name in order for website to remain listed on Google & other search engines.
b. Remaining budget monies for future events: $948.49
c. A fund drive to collect more monies for our account will start in mid-July and run to mid- or late August.
d. It is very likely we will have a 60th Birthday Bash Reunion in Spring 2010. Guesstimate for upfront expenses range from $1000 to $1300 (DJ, building rental, decorations, some mailing expenses).

There are three main areas to this discussion: Expense, Family Limitations, Choice of Gift

Expense questions
1. What is a reasonable amount to spend in regards to the limited funds available?
2. Can personal contributions be made a part of the plan?
3. How do you sustain the fund?
 

Family Limitations questions
1. Should there be levels for the gifts?
2. What family members should be included?
3. Should certain relations have a higher priority?

Choice of Gift questions
1. Flower options: floral arrangement, single rose, none
2. Card: purchased or handmade, with or without rose picture
3. How will the plan be managed so that it functions effectively?

There is a certain amount of overlap between all these questions. One's answer in one group depends on answers in another group.

Finally, I think it is an excellent suggestion from Paula that we poll the members.  The committee can form the questions for the survey.  We will post them on the website using our survey maker, send out an e-mail informing the members to fill out the poll, and after a reasonable amount of time the committee can take the poll results and draft the guidelines accordingly.  Nearly everyone has said they'll abide by what the group decides and this method will allow that to happen.

I talked with Lillie to get more information regarding the flowers.  Here are my notes from that discussion:

Floral Costs:
Plants $30 - $50
Flower basket $50
Single rose $6.50

Notes about the flowers:
Plants last; they can be watered and kept alive.  The others are cut & will wilt within a few days.
According to Lillie, the single rose is usually for an individual to express personal support from a friend.

Possible additional expenses:
Easel arrangement (carnations and daisies only on basic) start at $65 and go up
Out of town expenses include $4 wire charge (may or may not be waivered) plus a delivery charge ($10 mainly but may go as high as $20 depending on location).

As I see it, here are our Survey Options*:

1.  Classmate &   2.  Classmate's Immediate Family (spouse, children, parents)

a. Plant and card
b. Flower basket and card
c. Single rose and card
d. Card only

*(E-mails, personal purchases, and personally sent cards are not listed but remain an option for the individual member if they choose to make a personal contribution and send a personal message.)

jake, how was it decided re fund name and it's balance..i really, REALLY don't remember sending $ to specifically support our site although i think funds desgnated for that purpose a necessary epense.  i recall sending money for the lovie fry cause, and at christmas,  for that dear child's family, etc..

how many times has the proverbial hat been passed? and, was robbie elected to be treasurer or did she just see a job that needed doing, and did it?? (having that good old east texas gumption..)

i'm not trying to be a smartass here.  i'm just making comments and asking questions..pk

I believe that all the causes you listed involved direct donations to those causes and did not go into our budget.  I do recall that there were specific donations to the Flower Fund as a result of Mike Jackson's passing. 

As to the Treasurer's job, it has been taken up voluntarily.  Christi had the job up until the Reunion was over then Robbie replaced her at that point.  All questions pertaining to the job are best and more accurately answered by them.  The funds on hand for the budget have been reported to class members twice in the last year - when Christi transferred the funds to Robbie and also a report from Robbie in Spring of this year.  The only things not mentioned were the names of two donors who wished to remain anonymous.

I requested the funds for the website based on pledged funds from fellow classmates who promised to make donations when we did a fund drive.  I promised personally to fund any amount necessary to make sure the collected monies would meet the costs paid for the site.  We had originally planned to have the fund drive earlier but had to postpone due to Robbie going to Atlanta for their grand child and delays in getting a scholarship fund designed.  Then came the issue of the flower/sunshine fund that seemed to warrant another delay until that was clarified.

Now, this is just my personal opinion regarding budget monies and nothing more:  $1500 needs to be set aside to cover upfront expenses for our next reunion; current flower fund money on hand plus any received specifically for it in the upcoming fund drive should be designated for that use; any money specifically designated for scholarship money is to remain in that category until that matter is worked out by those interested in seeing a scholarship started; and remaining donations should go into the budget as discretionary money to cover unexpected expenses. 

Again, it's just my opinion.  My other opinion is that Christi and Robbie have been totally above board and open regarding the budget and have not used the funds for their own benefit or gain.  Any member so wishing can check out their paperwork and they've openly provided budget information when it was requested. 

One of the things I personally like about the site is that it encourages democratic participation and we're doing that now.  We can discuss all sides of this issue and we can also vote on the outcomes we hope will be chosen by the class.  But, more importantly, the site is in place to keep our class and friends informed about our lives and let us stay in touch with each other.  Along with e-mail, Facebook, MySpace, etc., the site is just another internet tool connecting people together electronically.  Who could've imagined such when we were in high school?!

Lillie provided us with the web address of City Florist where she works.  By clicking on the link below, you can see what all options they offer.  I recommend using the site map to go to the Sympathy and Funerals section and the Plant & Tropicals section since those are the main area we have used in the past.

www.cityflorist.bizx

I think the survey will help us to poll the class  - using Jake's projections of on-going needs - would it be possible to suggest an annual contribution for each of us to make - and those who want to contribute to a special fund or be extra generous could do so at their discretion - and while participation would not be "mandatory" - it might be a fair way to keep our fund sound and involve everyone equally

thank you jake for your opinion re how funds should be designated..i agree w/you and pjs..

you mentioned an upcoming fund drive..when is that anticipated to be held?..i'm guessing that is one item discussed at the meeting after the jimmy bash...(i wish i could have been there too...) i think an annual fund drive is a very good idea offering a way for contributions to be designated..

i, for one, totally appreciate christi and robbie for handling the money..it is a very, very important albeit a thankless job..kudos to you both!!

I think that we should stick to a plant being send just like with the others. If someone wants to send a card that it is up to them what they want to do. And I think that we should send plants to the last people that we missed. Jerry Gilley, Lana Ward, Judy Perryman (Jerry Nick), Connie Bagby and Virgie(Vicky) Warren. and anyone else that we missed.  A plant is something that you can keep (if you can keep it alive.) I still have my mother's from 1995 and is still dear to me.  That is my personal opinion and it is up to you to decide what to do.  If and when we get low then we can always add more money to the flower fund. We can also see how things is going in six months or a year and we can change things then.    Like I said this is my personal opinion and we all have that right to speak up, so if any lurkers are out there looking at this please feel free to voice your opinion on this.   

Everyone's voice will be heard via the survey  - and I believe the survey will be sent out shortly

Jake, I think the flower fund is an excellent idea! One more suggestion - and it is just that- if we know of a memorial that the deceased's family has suggested, I think we should do that - even if it is in the $25.00 range.  When my sister died last year, the memorials meant so much more than flowers because it was going to a cause near and dear to her heart. She would have been so pleased!  Above all, it is the thoughts and prayers that mean the most so anything we do will be appreciated!!!!

Let me know where to send a check.  Thanks Becky Land Blake

Jake,  Becky's comment about memorial in lieu of flowers is excellent (when warranted) - is it too late to add that option to the survey?      I also appreciated the diabetes donations on my mother's behalf.

I  too think Becky's idea is great.  I have done memorial donations before to Children's Village, Gideon Bibles, and others. 

Up here in Michigan, memorials are done for everyone, at the funeral you are handed an envelope and there is usually a card or board with the info for the memorials, sometime the person has more than one, I do think it is a good idea too.

On the donation in lieu of flowers - this option is already considered to be in place since it is commonly done elsewhere and it was brought up early on in the meeting on Saturday.  Paula, I think you arrived just minutes after we had discussed it and those present at the time all agreed to have that option available. 

Once the survey is completed, the committee can meet again to continue formalizing the guidelines.  We also can see how much comes in for the flower fund when the Fund Drive is over (it starts tomorrow and runs thru mid-August).  And, I'm sure the committee would appreciate more volunteers to help with this worthwhile project.  Contact Anita if you're interested.

Anyway, if the committee wants to have another survey to gather more information, we'll be glad to help them out.  Nothing like good ol' democratic participation.

From our committee:

Thanks Liillie for bringing to our attention those individuals that failed to received plants after the death or illness of a classmate or family member. This is exactly why the Sunshine/Flower Committee has been formed so that no one is forgotten. It is going to take the participation of all our classmates to keep us informed of deaths and illnesses. For everyones' information, plants and/or donations are being sent or made to Jerry Gilley, Lana Ward, Jerry Nick, Connie Williams and a donation made to the Scholarship Fund in the name of Virgie Warren.

Judy Mabry, Anita Bryant, Sue Ann Stagner, Paula Stephenson Jackson

thanks for all the information and effort by our committee.

this may have already discussed in the forum and i'll apologize upfront if it has - for bringing it up again that is...but - i agree w/becky about memorial donations in lieu of flowers...

when my daddy passed, friends and family were asked to donate to their own favorite charity in my father's name..the organizations to whom donations were made always sent  a notification of donation in his name - those notifications were cherished by us because some positive efforts in his name were being made..i probably have not articulated my thoughts in the most coherent manner..sorry for that, but i hope my inference is conveyed...

i thought i'd just throw it out there for consideration...

I was looking at the Obituaries in the Tyler paper today and several of them listed the memorials to be given to and one said in lieu of flowers.  I think the committee will probably have to read the obituary before they know whether this is an option,  to which organization to send the contribution and the $ amount. 

Paula, of course when a charity or organization is mentioned in the orbitrary, we will make a donation to that particuar charity or organization.  If the orbitrary specifies to the charity of your choice, we will make a donation to the Scholarship Fund in the name of the deceased.

Judy, Anita, Sue Ann, Paula

I don't post much but I do have a couple of comments on the Flower Policy. I think it is a great idea and I would support and am in favor of the flowers, plants, cards and donations specified by the family. I am however total against a donation from this fund being used for the scholarship fund. That is a separate idem which I agree with but should be a different fund raiser. We have classmates who did not go to TJC or may have went but would rather see money go to UT, Baylor, A&M, TT or other schools.

Again I am in favor of the Flowers but I think we need to be careful about using money for other things some may want to support.

I think that's a good point James.  This type of flexibility works for me.  So, would you accept a plan where the donation could go to whichever charity, school, or scholarship fund is chosen by the individual classmates concerned or their families? 

Let's also remember that the Scholarship Fund still has no precise plan for implementation so it can be changed to meet the wishes of the class.  Much more information and discussion is still needed.

I am wondering if anyone else besides me might be a little confused on money being collected for the General Fund and money for Commminty Involvement.  If I am wrong, please help me understand.  Share your thoughts too.

I thought I read money collected for the little girl that died came from the General Fund.  What is the definition of our General Fund and exactly what does the General Fund cover?  Helping someone seems like it would come from the Community Involvement fund.  Maybe the Community Involvement was not established when the little girl died.  Others, such as myself did not give through the JT fund.  l deposited money into their account at the bank.  I am sure others did too.

It seems to me there should be guidelines on each fund that is being collected so each classmate will know what they are contributing for.  Some may only want to give for reunions or gatherings -- others may want to give only for the flower fund, etc.  Jake did great on creating a survey for flowers, plants and cards. Maybe the same thing needs to be done on General Funds.  There are all kinds of people that need community help.  I am sure each one of us knows a family that could use funds but this could go on and on and I would think our class could not help everyone.

    On a scholarship -- others need to help me understand this too.  I thought scholarship funds went to a well deserving "John Tyler" student who needed help to attend whatever school he or she desires. I would think this would be a student whose family needs financial help -- I know Jake said this was still being talked about.   We should not think about what school they want to attend -- only the fact "The Class of 68" was helping someone achieve their dream by being able to attend college.  That is a scholarship fund to me.

 Others please help me out -- Am I the only one wondering about these funds that are being collected for. 

Linda, my personal views mirror many of yours.    I believe that the Survey is the first step in polling the class on various aspects of our "funds".

I think it's great that everyone speak up!

all i can say is i, together with my sister and brother, really appreciated the 'flower fund'  donation to hospice of east texas in my mother's name.  flowers are beautiful but a donation is always appreciated and what a great cause...